Rest for My Soul

I realize that it has been a very long time since I last posted. I can’t believe we are already nearly done with July! It has been a very busy summer- I worked full time in June, we gave away a house at the beginning of July, I’ve been either on the road or house-sitting almost every weekend, and then there’s that little thing called the sun that I’ve been trying to soak up in the spare moments!

Amidst the few months of craziness, I had a bit of a breakdown. Not a typical breakdown, but a definite moment where I looked in the mirror and did not recognize the person looking back at me, because she looked far too put-together. That was the exact opposite of how I felt. I made a list of the things that were weighing on me at that moment in time, and it made me realize that somewhere in the mess I had completely lost myself. I had become a person that I did not recognize and did not like. Sadly, I recognized that I was bending (and caving) to the pressure around me to fit in amongst a group of people with very different opinions and lifestyles than my own. I knew the only solution was to surround myself with MY people.

Chloe, Steven, and I taking in the view of the Emerald City from Gasworks Park

Chloe, Steven, and I taking in the view of the Emerald City from Gasworks Park (July 2013)

Which is why I was so excited to hear that my dear friends Chloe and Steven would be in Seattle for a few days. Chloe and Steven were in my small group when I lived in Belfast. They also led the team to South Africa at the end of that time, meaning after our rendezvous in Seattle we can say that we have been to FOUR continents together! These are MY people. They were there when my mom was first diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer. They were there when I broke up with my long-distance boyfriend. They were there as I learned what it means to be a disciple and truly live out my faith, and as I discerned the next steps after my internship. They have seen my good, my bad, and my ugly. And they love me anyway.

Steven and I at an orphanage in George, South Africa. Fearless leaders of #TeamBeast (July 2011)

Steven and I at an orphanage in George, South Africa. Fearless leaders of #TeamBeast (July 2011)

The best part about these friendships is that even though it has been nearly two years since we’ve seen each other, it felt as if nothing changed. We had a fabulous two days together, full of laughing, reminiscing, and some good old’ fashioned slagging. Even though the things we did together were fairly commonplace for Seattleites- walking Greenlake, exploring Pike Place Market, watching a Mariner’s Game, I have to say it was one of the best trips to Seattle I have ever taken. Because I was with people who truly KNOW and LOVE me. It was the first time in a long time that I was able to just be myself, without fear of what others may think.

And because I frequently experience God through community, it seemed very fitting that God would choose this weekend to speak clearly to me in ways I hadn’t experienced in quite awhile. God used ordinary, everyday conversations with Steven and Chloe to reveal to me some areas of sin in my life. And I bet if you asked them, they would have no idea. It’s amazing how God chooses to work!

Although it was a whirlwind trip that left me physically exhausted, it was exactly what I needed to refresh my soul.


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