Give and Take {Day 6}

Keep Calm and Compromise...31 Days to the Altar {A guide to a short engagement} #weddingplanning #marriage #wedding #compromise


If you’ve started the wedding planning process, you’ve probably already learned a very important lesson: Compromise.

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I have always hated being pushed out onto the dance floor for the bouquet toss; It was really the bane of my existence as a single person at weddings. I just don’t understand why people insist on stopping the fun to throw things at single people. I didn’t want to put my friends through that, so I immediately nixed the bouquet and garter tosses at our event. Laszlo initially seemed on the fence about it, but agreed to forgo this tradition. When it came to selecting our photographer, however, he was a little less than excited about my choice in our photo package {more to come on selecting a photographer!}. So I agreed to add back in the bouquet/garter toss in exchange for the photo story package. The fact that I was willing to wager something that I so clearly detested made him realize just how important the photos were to me, and he graciously agreed to compromise on the photos {no bouquet toss required! Isn’t he the best?!}.

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In the same way that you are two people with two different ideas for how to spend your money, you will likely both have different ideas of what your wedding should look like. Along with the bouquet toss and photo package, here are just a few of the other things we had to find a way to compromise on:

  • Planned early send-off or dance our butts off until the end of the reception;
  • Receiving line vs informal greeting;
  • Programs and hymns vs no music during the ceremony;
  • Traditional vs. modern elements.

It’s important to know {and express} which elements are important to you, and which ones you are willing to compromise on. Remember that it’s your husband’s wedding day, too. {Maybe your husband doesn’t have a strong opinion, but your compromise comes in the form of not being able to fit everything into your limited budget…or timeline. Chances are, you will have to compromise SOMEWHERE.}


Expectations are always rooted in something, and we discovered that most of our expectations came from previous weddings we had attended. As we talked through our planning more, we realized that some of the things we were insisting were important weren’t really all that important, we were simply basing our opinions off of what we had seen before. Whether it was something we liked or were adamantly against, sharing our experiences and why we had those strong feelings helped us to know where we would compromise. We were lucky in that we {eventually} agreed on all of the things that were most important to us.

Planning a wedding is a great stress test, and excellent practice for the many compromises that will come in marriage!


Check out the other posts in the 31 days…to the altar series here.

31 Days to the altar

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