Today was my last day of work. I’ve known this day was coming for a long time (over 3 months, in fact), but it doesn’t make it any easier. In these sorts of situations I tend to get very sentimental and treasure every “last”:
“This is the last time you’ll tell me ‘have a good day at work.’”
This is the last time I’ll drive to work.
This is the last time I’ll log off my computer, etc.
I’m not much of a crier, but gosh it’s hard to leave people you love. The only thing that saved me from a complete melt-down was that all but one of my co-workers left before me today, so I got to have several difficult good-byes instead of one big gut-wrenching one.
I promised I’d share some of my reflections throughout this journey, so here is a little bit I’ve learned that has help me to gain perspective on this transition.
I have discovered a lot about myself in this process, and one of those things is that I have very high expectations for myself. In fact, I want to be the best. Always. It feels great when people say nice things about me at work. I love it. I’m sure everyone can relate. But then I think about what they will say about the person who takes over for me. Especially as I began to hear about the candidate pool and how qualified they were. My mind instantly goes to the comparison:
“They’re going to do a better job than me.”
“My co-workers always talk about how much I have brought to the position, but what will the new person add that I didn’t?”
“They’re much better suited for this position than I was.”
“They’re going to like them more than me.”
It is really stupid, and it makes me feel like a third grader all over again, but it’s real.
So I started praying about it. I asked God to soften my heart and help me to see all the ways my replacement will help the College, and also give me some motivation to leave them with my best. I cannot even believe how quickly things changed. The very next day I had a complete change of perspective.
All of a sudden I saw the need for me to step aside and let someone new take things to a new level. I felt confident that I’d contributed a lot but now it was someone else’s turn. Almost like God was calling me OUT of this position so that he could call someone else INTO it. And now that I have met my replacement (who happens to be in a home group with many of my friends), I am confident that is true. This is exactly where he and his family need to be, and I am excited to get to see how God continues to use him in his role. And I am excited to see what new adventure God calls me into!